Pladimir Vutin
Three weeks days, supposedly unknownst to the Russian government, a rogue science program sent a satellite into orbit for the purpose of deflecting sunlight away from the earth. This satellite had been in a steady orbit until a few hours ago.
About eight hours ago, millions of Telus users have noted a failure in their respective network. Upon examination, an increase in the amount of satellites circling the earth apparently prompted a small quantity of space debris to come into contact with the sunlight deflection satellite. This initial collision led way to what was fortunately but another collision which led to the failure of the Telus satellite.
"Er, but it was for the purpose of scientific discovery, right? I think in this instance we need to overlook this minor oversight because it would be sacrilegious to inhibit the development of projects like this," says a Telus spokesperson nervously with two bulky representatives of the Russian Geoengineering Program and a suspiciously large briefcase presumably containing some means of financial alleviation behind him. The spokesperson went further to say that a satellite would be relaunched immediately, and has publicly apologized to all of its customers for this terrible incident.
Russian engineers on the other hand are very happy, noting, "remarkable bounds and leaps in this project!" The scientists have noted this as the first prototype design to successfully remain in orbit. Although it was not up for long, the engineers claim the data gathered will no doubt mark the project's success in the near future. The Russian government also looks favourably upon this discovery, but are inexplicably unable to fund this project further because the money set to fund the project have mysteriously disappeared from the treasury. On an unrelated note, Telus seems undaunted by their own tragic loss of profits.
About eight hours ago, millions of Telus users have noted a failure in their respective network. Upon examination, an increase in the amount of satellites circling the earth apparently prompted a small quantity of space debris to come into contact with the sunlight deflection satellite. This initial collision led way to what was fortunately but another collision which led to the failure of the Telus satellite.
"Er, but it was for the purpose of scientific discovery, right? I think in this instance we need to overlook this minor oversight because it would be sacrilegious to inhibit the development of projects like this," says a Telus spokesperson nervously with two bulky representatives of the Russian Geoengineering Program and a suspiciously large briefcase presumably containing some means of financial alleviation behind him. The spokesperson went further to say that a satellite would be relaunched immediately, and has publicly apologized to all of its customers for this terrible incident.
Russian engineers on the other hand are very happy, noting, "remarkable bounds and leaps in this project!" The scientists have noted this as the first prototype design to successfully remain in orbit. Although it was not up for long, the engineers claim the data gathered will no doubt mark the project's success in the near future. The Russian government also looks favourably upon this discovery, but are inexplicably unable to fund this project further because the money set to fund the project have mysteriously disappeared from the treasury. On an unrelated note, Telus seems undaunted by their own tragic loss of profits.
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